Friday, October 8, 2010

Company Owner Asks Managers to 'Remain Neutral'

FakeCo, a USA-based company, had four of its female employees filing class-action lawsuits against their employers today. All of them are based on sexual misconduct and harassment. 

"I'm honestly confused," Idiot McJerk, FakeCo company owner said today. "I mean, yes we find them attractive, but what's wrong with that? That's what women are there for, right?"

The concept that FakeCo has problems with its female employees becomes more clear through interviews and employment history. Over the last year they've gone through massive turnover of female employees, which several ex-employees have attributed to numerous cases of sexual harassment. Male employee termination is almost at a standstill, however. 

"I'd go to the water cooler and be catcalled," Lady McGirlson said in an interview. "One time a guy even groped me, and when I shoved him the manager told us to go back to work. It's like they don't care."

Many of these reported incidents go by unnoticed, despite the alarming frequency at which they happened. A trend worth noting is that all of the managers are male. 

"It's very difficult. We have a community that has widely varying opinions, and so to respect all families, as the policy says, we ask managers to remain neutral," said Human Resources Head Fuckup McDumbass. 

And that's why 'remaining neutral' is a bullshit excuse to not do your fucking job to protect people from being bullied. 

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